Timing is everything

For years we’ve been waiting for official news about the relocation of his college. It’s an aviation program so they need an airport. Their current airport, which is privately owned, is getting sold to some commercial developer in the next few years and will be closing down.

The college finally informed the employees that their first choice fell through (in an on-again-off-again kind of way), and that the official pursuit is now a city about 110 km (or almost 70 miles) east of here. That’s a long way away from our current home. It’s also a long way away from my parents who currently live 20 minutes by car away from us.

I’m so on the fence about the entire thing. On the one hand, we knew we had to move eventually (or raise the roof and add to the house) because living in this tiny bungalow has run its course. The hockey equipment and LEGO alone has taken over every nook and cranny, and staying on top of it amongst all the other stuff is driving me closer to the looney bin with each passing year. Plus momma would really love a bit more counter space in the kitchen, or a place to store the hair dryer in the bathroom, or not endlessly trip over kids shoes by the entrance…

But it’s not official. No one has signed a contract, stored equipment in hangars, or put their homes up for sale.

Still…how can I not plan a little? I may have experience with moving, but I have never moved with children…one of whom is school-aged. This is going to be a whole new ballgame and won’t leave much time for me to ride on my own anxiety wave.

I’m torn with my thinking. I start out with we’re moving in 18 months or so, why bother planting a flowering bush there? to thinking well they haven’t made it official, what do they expect, I stop living my life until they figure it out? I really want a clematis growing up along that wall… to wanting to lie down in my bed with a book and ignoring the entire emotional roller coaster.

Que sera sera.

But. I am not good with this kind of limbo. I am a practical person. I need to plan. I need to make lists, check things off, keep on top of stuff, hold it together.

Right now, I do not feel like I’m holding it together. I feel like I am coming apart…and I have no control over any aspect of my life.

Only thing I can do about this  is write about it, hope for the best, and muddle on.

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